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Aug 4, 2010

Suckling and Sex-ing

In honor of World Breastfeeding week, let’s talk nursing babies and nursing a happy, healthy post-baby sex life. This topic came up recently when an article published by beliefnet.com called, “Moms, Don’t Forget to Feed Your Marriages,” started circulating, in which the author shares his thoughts on how breastfeeding can come between partners. (Breastfeeding a baby, that is, not each other…that’s for another upcoming post!). Needless to say, he got a lot of flack for it. And while I agree he deserved that flack, I do think he was (lamely) trying to express what I’ve heard from lots of dads, that they often feel left out, neglected, even like they are competing with their little one for mom’s affection. The thing is, of course, you can have those problems whether you breastfeed or not. And while breastfeeding can sometimes feel like the nail in the coffin of post baby sex, this recently-finally-done-nursing naughty mama says you sure can “feed your marriage” and still feed your baby -- with your breasts! So, for those of you breast-deep in it right now, here are a couple tips from someone who has been there:

-- Lack of libido: Thanks, hormones. Time to boost that lost libido in lots of other ways: exercise, time for yourself, sleep, good birth control, done dishes…(I’ve got a couple books on the subject if you need more...)

-- Breasts spraying or leaking during sex: keep a sexy bra on. This can also help if you feel overly sensitive or tender. I loved the one I splurged on from Bellamaterna!

-- Vaginal Dryness: Did you know this is a “side effect” of nursing? So, make like a boy scout and be prepared with lots of nice lube.

-- Mom Has Trouble Shifting Gears/Baby Interrupt-us: If you get interrupted you can consider it foreplay for the next time. Or, get the baby back down and switch settings, have a small glass of wine, a shower, get away from all things baby. And for heaven’s sake get a good monitor.

-- Baby Wakes Up and Wants to Nurse. Like, a lot: Nap whenever you can. Don’t get so you have to choose between sleep and sex, ‘cause that’s a no-brainer.