Logan Levkoff | Aug 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM | Reply | Report
I think that it's important to remember that we are bombarded with hundreds of messages that inadvertently sabotage our relationships. Think of all of our magazine stories: "Have the hottest sex ever!" "Make it like it was when you first met!" "Spice up your sex life!" Sure, it's done in an effort to help you relationships, but it makes us believe that there are clear cut ways to get back to that infatuation stage. Relationships evolve. And while you may not have the time (nor desire) to jump each other's bones every two minutes, a deeper respect and intimacy should have developed. Contrary to our tabloid and celebrity relationships, the grass isn't always greener.
Heidi Raykeil | Aug 18, 2010 at 1:49 AM | Reply | Report
After 17 years of intimately knowing my husband (hey, who says one night stands never work out...) we've certainly had our ups and downs, our infatuation stages, our plain old fat stages, our boring stages and now...I have to say that our sex has grown up right along with us. When I really think about it, it wasn't that the sex was so great back in those early years (though it was acrobatic) - it was that our emotions were so heated; it was the passion that came along with the sex. And while that passion is certainly harder to find now, there is a balancing benefit of being with one person so long: all the trust and predictability allows for all kinds of fun and honest sexual exploration. So while we have to keep finding ways to renew some of the passion we've grown out of (maybe, for instance, by finding passion for a shared cause, or for raising our kids together or for lazily divvying up the Times on Sunday mornings), in the meantime we can console ourselves with great sex.