Time Flies....

‎18 years with JB! Guess our love is all grown up now....

Domestic Romantical Thoughts Leading up to V-Day:

On our drive to the mechanic in two separate cars, from behind I can tell JB doesn't know which way to go. I turn on my signal directing him, he gives me thumbs up. Later he says, "We're really good car communicators. I like that." I can tell by his look he thinks it's somehow romantic. Which makes me feel, well, romantic. It's ain't rocket science, guys!

We agree the trip was a good metaphor for marriage: two people driving two separate cars, (hopefully) to the same place.

Love, Marriage and the Baby Carriage

What they don't tell you about love, marriage and kids, I will....

Good in Bed!

I want to share some of the great conversation going on at www.goodinbed.com, COME ON OVER and join us. Logan Levkoff is just one of our many great experts!

Logan Levkoff | Aug 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM | Reply | Report
I think that it's important to remember that we are bombarded with hundreds of messages that inadvertently sabotage our relationships. Think of all of our magazine stories: "Have the hottest sex ever!" "Make it like it was when you first met!" "Spice up your sex life!" Sure, it's done in an effort to help you relationships, but it makes us believe that there are clear cut ways to get back to that infatuation stage. Relationships evolve. And while you may not have the time (nor desire) to jump each other's bones every two minutes, a deeper respect and intimacy should have developed. Contrary to our tabloid and celebrity relationships, the grass isn't always greener.

Heidi Raykeil | Aug 18, 2010 at 1:49 AM | Reply | Report
After 17 years of intimately knowing my husband (hey, who says one night stands never work out...) we've certainly had our ups and downs, our infatuation stages, our plain old fat stages, our boring stages and now...I have to say that our sex has grown up right along with us. When I really think about it, it wasn't that the sex was so great back in those early years (though it was acrobatic) - it was that our emotions were so heated; it was the passion that came along with the sex. And while that passion is certainly harder to find now, there is a balancing benefit of being with one person so long: all the trust and predictability allows for all kinds of fun and honest sexual exploration. So while we have to keep finding ways to renew some of the passion we've grown out of (maybe, for instance, by finding passion for a shared cause, or for raising our kids together or for lazily divvying up the Times on Sunday mornings), in the meantime we can console ourselves with great sex.

True Lurve

Anniversary advice, after 17 years:
Her: Go ahead and go to bed mad
His: Surrender early, and often

Shake It, Ladies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaruNs_7okY&feature=player_embedded

The Sex Nerd Speaks! Listen Up, Ladies

Your body flaws are proof of real beauty, or as "Sex Nerd" Emily Nagoski says, "Real things have scratches." Here's to being alive, and imperfect.

Hump Day!

Here's your hot homework for the week: Bring back weekday sex. Make hump day earn it's name! For inspiration, listen to this podcast on the way home from work, or instead of watching bad TV, or together, after the kids are asleep. Make Wednesday work, folks!

Suckling and Sex-ing

In honor of World Breastfeeding week, let’s talk nursing babies and nursing a happy, healthy post-baby sex life. This topic came up recently when an article published by beliefnet.com called, “Moms, Don’t Forget to Feed Your Marriages,” started circulating, in which the author shares his thoughts on how breastfeeding can come between partners. (Breastfeeding a baby, that is, not each other…that’s for another upcoming post!). Needless to say, he got a lot of flack for it. And while I agree he deserved that flack, I do think he was (lamely) trying to express what I’ve heard from lots of dads, that they often feel left out, neglected, even like they are competing with their little one for mom’s affection. The thing is, of course, you can have those problems whether you breastfeed or not. And while breastfeeding can sometimes feel like the nail in the coffin of post baby sex, this recently-finally-done-nursing naughty mama says you sure can “feed your marriage” and still feed your baby -- with your breasts! So, for those of you breast-deep in it right now, here are a couple tips from someone who has been there:

-- Lack of libido: Thanks, hormones. Time to boost that lost libido in lots of other ways: exercise, time for yourself, sleep, good birth control, done dishes…(I’ve got a couple books on the subject if you need more...)

-- Breasts spraying or leaking during sex: keep a sexy bra on. This can also help if you feel overly sensitive or tender. I loved the one I splurged on from Bellamaterna!

-- Vaginal Dryness: Did you know this is a “side effect” of nursing? So, make like a boy scout and be prepared with lots of nice lube.

-- Mom Has Trouble Shifting Gears/Baby Interrupt-us: If you get interrupted you can consider it foreplay for the next time. Or, get the baby back down and switch settings, have a small glass of wine, a shower, get away from all things baby. And for heaven’s sake get a good monitor.

-- Baby Wakes Up and Wants to Nurse. Like, a lot: Nap whenever you can. Don’t get so you have to choose between sleep and sex, ‘cause that’s a no-brainer.

Fake it to Make it!

Join the conversation this week on Female Orgasm - www.goodinbed.com/discuss Dr. Emily Nagoski is on call this week! Log in to see my comments on the difference between faking it -- and fakin' it to make it...