Love, Marriage and the Baby Carriage

What they don't tell you about love, marriage and kids, I will....

Good in Bed!

I want to share some of the great conversation going on at www.goodinbed.com, COME ON OVER and join us. Logan Levkoff is just one of our many great experts!

Logan Levkoff | Aug 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM | Reply | Report
I think that it's important to remember that we are bombarded with hundreds of messages that inadvertently sabotage our relationships. Think of all of our magazine stories: "Have the hottest sex ever!" "Make it like it was when you first met!" "Spice up your sex life!" Sure, it's done in an effort to help you relationships, but it makes us believe that there are clear cut ways to get back to that infatuation stage. Relationships evolve. And while you may not have the time (nor desire) to jump each other's bones every two minutes, a deeper respect and intimacy should have developed. Contrary to our tabloid and celebrity relationships, the grass isn't always greener.

Heidi Raykeil | Aug 18, 2010 at 1:49 AM | Reply | Report
After 17 years of intimately knowing my husband (hey, who says one night stands never work out...) we've certainly had our ups and downs, our infatuation stages, our plain old fat stages, our boring stages and now...I have to say that our sex has grown up right along with us. When I really think about it, it wasn't that the sex was so great back in those early years (though it was acrobatic) - it was that our emotions were so heated; it was the passion that came along with the sex. And while that passion is certainly harder to find now, there is a balancing benefit of being with one person so long: all the trust and predictability allows for all kinds of fun and honest sexual exploration. So while we have to keep finding ways to renew some of the passion we've grown out of (maybe, for instance, by finding passion for a shared cause, or for raising our kids together or for lazily divvying up the Times on Sunday mornings), in the meantime we can console ourselves with great sex.

True Lurve

Anniversary advice, after 17 years:
Her: Go ahead and go to bed mad
His: Surrender early, and often

Shake It, Ladies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaruNs_7okY&feature=player_embedded

The Sex Nerd Speaks! Listen Up, Ladies

Your body flaws are proof of real beauty, or as "Sex Nerd" Emily Nagoski says, "Real things have scratches." Here's to being alive, and imperfect.

Hump Day!

Here's your hot homework for the week: Bring back weekday sex. Make hump day earn it's name! For inspiration, listen to this podcast on the way home from work, or instead of watching bad TV, or together, after the kids are asleep. Make Wednesday work, folks!

Suckling and Sex-ing

In honor of World Breastfeeding week, let’s talk nursing babies and nursing a happy, healthy post-baby sex life. This topic came up recently when an article published by beliefnet.com called, “Moms, Don’t Forget to Feed Your Marriages,” started circulating, in which the author shares his thoughts on how breastfeeding can come between partners. (Breastfeeding a baby, that is, not each other…that’s for another upcoming post!). Needless to say, he got a lot of flack for it. And while I agree he deserved that flack, I do think he was (lamely) trying to express what I’ve heard from lots of dads, that they often feel left out, neglected, even like they are competing with their little one for mom’s affection. The thing is, of course, you can have those problems whether you breastfeed or not. And while breastfeeding can sometimes feel like the nail in the coffin of post baby sex, this recently-finally-done-nursing naughty mama says you sure can “feed your marriage” and still feed your baby -- with your breasts! So, for those of you breast-deep in it right now, here are a couple tips from someone who has been there:

-- Lack of libido: Thanks, hormones. Time to boost that lost libido in lots of other ways: exercise, time for yourself, sleep, good birth control, done dishes…(I’ve got a couple books on the subject if you need more...)

-- Breasts spraying or leaking during sex: keep a sexy bra on. This can also help if you feel overly sensitive or tender. I loved the one I splurged on from Bellamaterna!

-- Vaginal Dryness: Did you know this is a “side effect” of nursing? So, make like a boy scout and be prepared with lots of nice lube.

-- Mom Has Trouble Shifting Gears/Baby Interrupt-us: If you get interrupted you can consider it foreplay for the next time. Or, get the baby back down and switch settings, have a small glass of wine, a shower, get away from all things baby. And for heaven’s sake get a good monitor.

-- Baby Wakes Up and Wants to Nurse. Like, a lot: Nap whenever you can. Don’t get so you have to choose between sleep and sex, ‘cause that’s a no-brainer.

Fake it to Make it!

Join the conversation this week on Female Orgasm - www.goodinbed.com/discuss Dr. Emily Nagoski is on call this week! Log in to see my comments on the difference between faking it -- and fakin' it to make it...

Bored in the Bedroom?

People change. Relationships change. Why should your sex life stay the same? Falling into a routine is natural, but what do you do when sexual boredom starts to settle in?

Log in and join the discussion ...

What Have You Done For Me Lately

So what has your body done for you this week? Here are mine:

Slept. In. Is there anything more to say than this?

Fresh apricots. Ate ‘em.

Neck nibbles. Salty skin. Hot sex on a cool leather couch. (Directly related to #1 since I was rested and able to stay up past little ones bedtime…)

Back to loving that body...

You know good body image is good for sex, but did you know that sex is good for your body??

Things That Make Me Want To Have Sex

I hear from a lot of women that sex is the furthest thing from their minds. This is unfortunate, since the mind really is the biggest sex organ, and a great place to jumpstart a lost libido. This weekend, notice any sex related thoughts you have, no matter how small. The more you notice them, the more you'll think them.... To help you get started, I'll share my past week of sexy thoughts with a little breakdown I like to call: TTMMWTHS (Things That Made Me Want To Have Sex)

Here we go. This week's TTMMWTHS are...

1.) The way my dress fit yesterday at a party; made it look like I actually had a bootie, and when the wind blew it up my legs I wondered who saw.

2.) The way the young soccer referee looked at me when I had to change shirts right next to him.

3.) The smell of JB after he has been in the sun; the smell of sun on skin in August, the same month we met in 16 years ago.

4.) The show True Blood. Pretty much every episode. I know I'm late to the game with this one but damn, Team Bill! (No one tell me any spoilers, we're only on the sexond, I mean second season, lots more Bill to cum, I mean of course, come.)

What's up, ladies?

From www.goodinbed.com According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, 83% of men enjoy sex a great deal, while only 59% of women feel the same way. That means that nearly 1 out of 2 women aren't being satisfied to "their full satisfaction." What does foreplay have to do with it? Come on by the forum and see....

Sex at Dawn

I do like morning sex, but I'm talking about the book....Are we meant to be monogamous? I haven't read the book yet, but I like anything that points out that 'happily ever after' doesn't come without a whole lotta work.

"The American sense of relationships and sexuality tends to be very informed by Hollywood: It’s all about the love story. But the love story ends at the wedding and doesn't go into the 40 years that comes after that."

{no idea why this is all caps. sorry for yelling}

Feel Better About Your Body, Feel Better in Bed

I’m not talking losing weight or shaving. I’m talking about loving, or at least going a little easier on, what you’ve got. What are three positive experiences your body gave you this week-end? Here are mine:

Felt the quintessential summertime sensation of sun warming my skin from above and grass tickling from underneath

Breathed face to face with my baby, who no longer has baby breath, but still has baby skin

Raced (okay, it’s a one speed) down the street on my bike with the neighbor kid who just learned to ride without training wheels. Felt ecstatic for her, with her.

1.)

She Gotta Bump

For you naughty mommies with bump: "Don’t be worried ‘bout your amniocentesis, I wanna eat you up like a bag o’ recess pieces…”

Advice for Young Girls from the Little Mermaid

As my littlest one hits the princess phase, I'm digging Second City's "Advice for Young Girls from the Little Mermaid" -- Highlights include: "Never be comfortable in the body you've been given" and "My best feature is my voice, so I sold it for plastic surgery"

Good in Bed

Check out the fun and informative discussion going on at my co-author Ian Kerner's brand spankin' new website www.goodinbed.com. This week's topic: FOREPLAY. You know you love it. Click on 'discuss', sign in as yourself or something a little more anonymous (hungrymama123 ?) and let the questions/opinions roll. You'll find me there, chiming in now and then, as well.

Facebooking it

Come on by and "Like" me....

Also trying to figure out how to tweet @TheNaughtyMommy.....

Moms Are Sexy Too

From the Sacramento Book Review....